by Riley Bergren

God gives many commands in the bible, but there are a select group that are intended to be directed towards either woman or man. It is when men and women accept these unique, but complementary roles with humility and faith that they reflect Christ and bring God glory in their everyday lives. Womanhood and manhood, “belong at the center of God’s ultimate purpose”(Stand to Reason, Hall).

God was very intentional from the beginning to establish the differences and perfect harmony between man and woman. Due to sin being brought into the world and disrupting this sacred harmony, these commands God gave throughout the Bible became that much more important.

Another verse is Proverbs 31:25-26 which says, “She is clothed with strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” While it is not a woman’s job to lead, they are still called to carry themselves with strength, dignity, and confidence in God’s plan. To speak with wisdom rather than foolishness means that we should be intentional with speaking and teaching in a way that will honor God. Sarah Rice from The Gospel Coalition says, “The bible teaches that women are image bearers of God and are equal to men in worth and personhood.” While we are equal, we are also given different commands.

1 Timothy 6: 11-12 says, “But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.” This passage commands men to actively pursue righteousness rather than passively hoping to become godly. In Matthew 18:3 it says, “Unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” In response to this verse John Piper said, “Men who act like backyard bullies . . .are not childlike. They are childish. Genuine childlikeness and humility, like everything else Jesus taught, is revolutionary for the relationship between man and women.”(Desiring God) Men are being told to flee from all forms of sin and greed, and to instead take up righteousness and humility. Every man is called to defend his faith and to stand firm on God’s Word.

To start off in Titus 2:3-5, “Likewise teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” For married women, to show proper love and glory to the Lord, they are commanded to show love to their husbands and children, seeing as both are God-given priorities. It is not a woman’s job to just stay home and let time pass her, or never go into the workforce. A wife is commanded to be self-controlled, kind, pure, and diligent in caring for her home. The word ‘malign’ means to speak about someone in a spiteful critical manner. The phrase “so that no one will malign the word of God” is showing that a woman’s actions in marriage are a reflection of her faith. Sarah Rice writes that, “Christ is the example for women who seek to honor him. He denied himself. Similarly, Christian women should deny themselves” (The Gospel Coalition). Denying yourself is about surrendering self-centeredness and embracing a life led by faith and obedience to God and to your family.

Ephesians 5:22-24 is one of the most talked about verses when it comes to women in marriage. It says, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Submission in marriage is not about women being lesser than men, but about God’s design for order and leadership. Wives are called to submit to their husbands as the church is called to submit to Christ. This is meant to represent the fact that she respects and supports her husband’s role of leadership. This is not intended to be blind obedience, but rather a willing and loving partnership where she trusts and honors her husband.

Finally in Proverbs 14:1 it says, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” Through a wife’s attitude, words, and actions, she has the capability to either build up her home or tear it down.

Ephesians 5:23-25 says, “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the savior. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Once again we see the representation of the Church and Christ. A husband is the leader of his wife, but his leadership is modeled after Christ’s leadership in the Church. This means that it is a sacrificial, selfless, and a loving type of leadership. This command does not give men permission to act out of dominance, but rather calls them to serve their wives through their leadership. John Piper wrote that, “God has called men to bear the primary responsibility for leadership in relationship to women ; that men are held accountable first, by God . . .And Jesus says, “Whoever would be great among you must be your servant” (Matthew 20:26). That’s the key to beautiful leadership that builds up others” (Desiring God). The standard by which wives are loved is the one that Christ first.

Colossians 3:19 says, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” This verse is a simple command for husbands to treat their wives with love and kindness while also rejecting anger. A harsh or bitter husband has the potential to damage his marriage, while a loving one builds trust and unity. I’ll end with 1 Peter 3:7 which says, “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” Men are not to view their wives as a “weaker party” but more accurately as an equal given from God. Wives are to be treated as gifts of life because more than a wife, she is a child of God with eternal value and worth. A husband is to be considerate and caring of a wife’s needs.